Friday, April 19, 2019

Can't we get our kids away from Mobile?

"Maaaaa!  Give me your phone. 😳" .  Yelled my kid as soon as she saw me.
"No am not giving you my phone. Go play with your toys." I replied, not trying to reason with her.

"Hmmfff" 😠😠 she walked out with folded arms across her chest.
OK  now what did I do?  Seriously. When I was a kid I always wanted to be out playing, never ever I wanted to stay at home and look at these teenie weenie kids.
So. Now am a bad mom because I dint give into the demand.

Wait.🤔  I guess am not the only one having to deal with such tantrums. There maybe mom's like me, who needs to be on the receiving end.

Getting children off the Mobile is sometimes a war. Actually if I stop typing this on my mobile and just listen to my daughter right now will she stop taking mobile to play 🙈🙈🙈😂😂...

She is sitting right next to me and asking what am I doing?  I said am working, so why don't you go play, she says "even I have to work, give me your other phone"
Oh great!  Now this is not a great example  to say "like mother like daughter" 😵😩😌😌
There are many ways to divert the kids attention towards better productive activities than to just get them glued to the phones.

1. It's fine to give them half and hour on mobile. But in order to not get them addicted,  we need to be more careful not to be on mobile ourselves. Also, Making sure to let kids know, we are working and we need the help of our phones.

2.we need to let our kids realize that books are not just limited to academic year or for assignments. Give them something to color, sketch or draw. 
Sit with a book with your kids. For once write on book than on mobile. It's a learning to both the kid and the parent.
Kids are very curious in nature and they copy what parents do. So when they see you reading and writing on a book they are sure to follow the same.

3. Getting parents outdoor seems to be more challenging than to get kids out. Parents are stressed out with all the workload , they just need some time off from kids.  But when you do some outdoor activities with your kids, it not only helps you bind with your child but also helps you to release the stress.

4. Peer pressure always has major influence on kids. No matter how much effort a parent puts in. Kids seemed to get carried away by what others say to them. 
Don't loose your hope on that.
When we parents build a good connection with our children they surely will never get carried away.

5.There are times when other parents tell us that they get everything that their kids ask. Which is good but to overdo it ,is never going to help. Giving into every single demand is never going to help.  So we need to teach our kids the value for money. Try reasoning with them as to why you won't be getting them the toy.
I always follow this. I have seen changes in my kid. When she asks for something that she sees her friends have too. I ask her if she really needs it on the first place. Initially she says she needs one because all her friends have it. But later, she realizes and tells me, maybe I don't need it. It would be of no use to me. 
Ask me if I don't feel proud when she says that. 😊 I am one happy mamma on the block.

Henceforth, no matter what.  Am not letting my daughter stick like glue on mobile.  I would rather be happy to see her play with toys and pretend to be a teacher or doctor or read a book of her choice.
I will try not to be on Mobile myself. 

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

My quotes

I stopped listening to the sounds that wanted to pull me down. I tuned the sounds to my liking and now they sound melodious.

Am in love with myself. Sorry!  Did you say something?

I am done convincing, I don't need approval. I am what I am going to be because I stopped looking myself through your eyes.

Just be who you are, if it intimidates others, so be it. You don't have to fit in to please everyone.

I can be calm and easy, but touch the wrong nerve, you will have to face the furry in me

Take pride in yourself, you don't owe it to  anybody. 

A book and a pen is all you need. Well I do have it, what next?  

Friday, March 8, 2019

Let women decided!

When you just cross the 30 mark and someone just calls you hey aunty. Wow!  Being aunt to my niece or nephew is something but to be an aunt for every passerby who walks by is quiet astonishing.
Its not just us women being called "aunties"  but men too are called "uncles ". But that's not it. Some go to an extent an advice as to how one needs to dress up because you look like an aunty. What does that even mean?  "look like am aunty"?  It's not only insulting but also brings out the mindset of people.
Even a woman for her age might either look older or younger but that does give anybody a right to insult them and advice them what to wear and not.
I have come across a lot about this.  Pick something trendy and girly. The Comment flies by right across your face, "that doesn't suit you.  You are married you can't wear something like that.".  Oh YA!  I totally forgot that being married means you have to dress up certain way.  Hmmm, so what dress code do men follow after being married?  Does the rule just apply on women? 
I think people who pass  such comments are either insecured or feel intimidated that a woman can look good even in her 30s and 40s or whatever.  Age is just a number.  Why is it so hard to understand.
 A woman knows her body, let her decide what looks good on her.  Women don't need anyone telling her what to do and what not to.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Parenting and kids

What have you got to say about new generation parents? They are very careful and very practical when it comes to becoming parents.
Its good that couples talk about it and decide when they wish to become parents. The scenario is changing and women aren't just becoming a mother but planning ahead well in time about her career and choices too,  which is good.
But the concern that I have is,  we have become dependent on the information that Internet provides us, when it comes to raising a child. We all need information and advice but should we just follow blindly whatever information is thrown at us?
For example,  when a kid shows tantrums, we have numerous advices on the internet telling us how a parent needs to solve it.
But during our times, we never had this privilege. Our parents would straight away tell us NO without beating around the bushes.
Its as straight as it can get. No tantrums no cranking and no fussing.  You would just get a wack on your bottom if you were caught misbehaving or answered back at them.  Our parents didn't have Internet to teach them or provide them with the do's and Don's of raising a child.
But we the new generation kind of find it hard when dealing with kids,  we look up to Internet to solve our daily issues we face with raising our children. Do not raise your voice,  do not spank them,  do not punish them.
We have to be friends with them and not act as parents. That the advice I got. But i am a parent first. I can't just sit and be calm all the time and not yell at them even when you see them throwing things around the house or wasting food or demanding for toys everytime you step out of the house. Practical just being impossible. I am going to be calm but I am also going to be strict when it comes to discipline.
raising your voice everytime is not the solution.  I get it.  Hitting and shouting on kids is never going to help either, but what about the kids who just don't get the idea of such conversation or tactics that we parents follow.  It seems our kids are smart enough to understand where this Conversation will lead to. You will end up keeping your side of the bargain and mostly continues the same way.  Like for example, when you are our shopping with your kid you surely would say "if you behave I will buy you a chocolate or will let you play on my mobile". Which is kind of bribing them.
This can be short term solution, but in the long run,  this will backfire.  The kids would have understood this by now that when they behave they will be rewarded.  They will expect it everytime.  The more you stay calm and try explaining to your kids to behave, everytime they throw tantrums, they sort of have become immune to this.  They would have understood that by now that they are not going to be scolded.
We must be able to teach them the basic value and importance of money and time. Kids process information much faster and they have the hunger to know more.  They are curious little tots. From the young age we need to set boundaries. When in need be a friend but also let them know that YOU are a parent and they cannot take you for granted.
Sometimes as a parent you need to be firm and keep your tone a bit high when you need to discipline them. You need to set limits.  Punishing them might not give results but occasionally when you think your child is not really changing the attitude you have to set things straight.
Kids can't control their emotions like adults.  They are learning and adapting to change and understand.  Not every kid is the same.  Some kids will understand right away when you ask them not to do it.  Some just don't get. The more you stop them the more tantrums they throw at you .
When a kid answers back to you and use fowl language in public, how would you react.  Many just let go and give in to their demands,  some punish them publicly and some show the frustration after getting back home.
What have we learnt from this?  We have channeled our frustration and stress on kids. They learn from us. When we stop then from expressing and stop listening, kids tend to show their frustration differently. If we parents are attentive and stop them right at time, we surely can let our kids understand the need to respect and be kind.
We need to show and teach them to more empathetic and let them know that anger or frustrating or by just throwing tantrums will not take them anywhere.
We all are learning. We learn with our kids. Nobody is born trained to be perfect. We need to connect with one another and set a strong bond and communicate openly to one another.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Humans.Can't understand these creatures.  A human has "brain"  to talk, make decisions,  and has been gifted by nature, the intelligence to look after. 

But humans chose to hurt others in order to safeguard themselves.

Animals too have brains and they do understand feelings.  They too give birth as we humans do.  They breathe, eat, communicate,  understand, even shit like humans.  Just that they can't do the things we humans can.

It's as simple as it is.  Actually, animals can take care of themselves. We humans can't.  Animals have been in the forest and the moment we started destroying the forest.  Animals had to wander off in search of food and water,  just like humans. 

Yet we want to blame the animals for killing humans who encroach upon their land.  OK so look at this way.  When our land is taken or forcefully occupied what do we do.  Go for a war.  The difference here is animals don't have weapons other than their own paws n trunks n teeth to tear us apart. 

Animals are territorial. If we are taking something from them then at least make some provisions for the animals so that they won't venture out in search of food and water.  We have build dams stopped the natural flow of rivers.  Changed the shape of terrains.  What more can you expect from animals then? 

We need to give them the forest with water and food.  And when you see them on roads crossing just stop and give them space.  They will move. Just stop honking and use of crackers to scare them off. These are just temporary solutions. We have to give animals their right to live in their land. We can't just snatch away and blame them for creating havoc.

Animals will definitely respect if we respect them back else nature will take its course if we don't change.  

It's not an easy walk being a first time mother

Venus was one of that mom who had to take care of her little one on her own.  She didn't have a nanny or family members to depend on.  Her husbands work required him to be available at any hour of the day. She didn't want to go for a job because she couldn't afford to leave her kid in the hands of a stranger.

Well, you are not alone then. There are many women like Venus. She had her own dreams but she chose to give it a rest.  Because for her present was her child, that's all matters.  She wanted to give her child the support and be there when her child needed her.

Every first-time mother has this possessiveness about her child. They can do anything to protect them and provide them every resource.
It might not be easy for first-time mothers to look after a newborn without facing challenges.  Especially when you don't have anyone to guide you or advice you.

There is so much information on the internet. One can relate to many situations too.
A bit of advice to every first time mother is to not panic and stay as calm as possible. There will be many instances that would arise which might cause you to feel tired and feel frustrated.  Depression is something which one needs to avoid.

One can follow simple things such as
Keep the medical supplies handy, also have your doctor's number in case of emergency.
 Organize your work ( cooking, cleaning, Washing,  etc).
Have your friends and family on speed dial.
Keep a track of your baby's daily schedule. This will help you to plan things in advance.
Keep yourself engaged, read a book with your kid by your side.
Don't let go of your hobby.
Take care of yourself, take rest when your kid is resting.

Many have a different way of addressing the situations. As long as we stay calm and focused, we can overcome a lot of hurdles.

Friday, February 22, 2019

Don't Judge me for the choices I make

Someone told me “it must be hard staying at home and just cook, clean and wash. What a sad life. Don’t you ever feel that you need to step out of the house and work?”
Many of us “housewives” must have come across such comments; especially such comments are passed by women. Why have we come to this? Why can’t we just let a woman decide what she thinks is best for her and her family rather judging her for the choices she makes.

Being a stay at home isn't that exciting has it looks. Some chose to be mothers who wish to be there for their family. What’s wrong in that. I know women who are happy doing the household work, they feel satisfied to keep their house clean, their families fed on time. They love cooking, yet they are judged, pitied upon by saying that she just a housewife.

A working woman on the other hand also faces a lot of challenges, to juggle between family and work is daunting. Again she is judged and told that she is selfish, what is the need to work when her husband is earning well.

The society has been always critical when it comes to woman. The society is never satisfied at anything. They find issues and faults in everything when a woman decides with her life. No wonder these criticisms come from women fraternity.

We need to appreciate every individual, be it a man or a woman. They need to decide what's best for them and their family. A woman is already made to compromise a lot from the time she is born. Facing restrictions in every walk of her life's journey, which she has become accustomed to. But at one point when she decides what she wishes to. Let her do it and don't stop her.

We as a society need to respect one's choices and guide them, instead of just asking them to stop dreaming and clip off their wings. Giving birth to a child is a life cycle and you can’t change nature but we can lend a helping hand and work together and support one another.

Can't we get our kids away from Mobile?

"Maaaaa!  Give me your phone. 😳" .  Yelled my kid as soon as she saw me. "No am not giving you my phone. Go play with your...